Sunday, 25 March 2012

Prime Minister's 'Rent-A-Friend' Structure Backfires

Former Tory Treasurer Peter Crudas was denounced by PM David Cameron today to ‘Crud-ass’ following the revengeful exposure by Murdoch’s ‘Sunday Times’, exclusively broadcasting Pete’s pathetic attempts to join the Cameron Crew by discharging hefty sums to wine and dine and eventually secure a role as Treasurer as a reward for ‘spending his own money so wisely’.

The subtle footage shot and posted on the newspaper’s website outlines the Tory’s new approach to fundraising methods, to which they allegedly received no offers sparing one from ex-Labour Prime Minister Gordon Brown, mistakenly applying for a role as caretaker.  Futile efforts essentially establish that that the Tories’ wiser option could have been by targeting a wider market with an innocent car wash or classic car boot sale to raise Party funds, regardless of Dave’s prestigious Eton education.

Osborne and Cameron may have played tactically on Budget day, expecting an elite monetary reward in form of political donation compensating for wealthy favourable top rate 5% tax cuts, however on the other hand it could just as well have been due to declining popularity and recent jibes from Labour Leader ‘bully’ Miliband that forced the controversy laden pair to issue ‘rent-a-friend’ advertisements at £250k a pop.

Ed Miliband wasted no time and jumped on the accusatory bandwagon, proposing the second investigation of the week (first following the Budget leak scandal on Thursday) and it certainly seems like Britain may just have acquired another Sherlock Holmes. It’s almost disappointing that the Lib Dems decided not to form a bond with Labour as Nick Clegg would have, in my opinion, made a fitting sidekick as Watson.

No matter how scandalous the whole affair may be perceived to be, there’s no denying the entrepreneurial spirit from the Conservatives, however if I were buying government policies at a quarter of a million GBP sterling, I’d certainly want a ‘buy one get one free’ sales offer for the best possible value for money – after all, there is a British recession!

Meanwhile, David Cameron has been sighted sat in various public hotspots throughout London armed with blankets, an empty coffee-stained polystyrene cup laid before him and an improvisational placard reading ‘Cash For Cameron?’


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