Thursday, 29 March 2012

Cameron Fuels Arsonists On Latest Outreach Venture

Despite the infamous quote published on World War 2 propaganda posters by the British government in 1939 advising Britons to ‘Keep Calm & Carry On’, this counsel evidently did not adhere to No 10 as a shambolic ministerial statement encouraging drivers to remain fueled up and ‘to fill up a jerrycan or two’. Looks like the British government just jumped from the frying pan directly into the fire (ignited by arsonists with their spare jerrycans).Warnings to David Cameron, Labour’ll have you up like Guy Fawkes on the 5th of November!

The Royal Family have no concerns over the potential future fuel shortage however, Liz has already lined up her horse and carriage (famously used in Prince William and the Duchess Kate’s wedding and prior to that, Harry and Wills’ mother, Princess Diana) to take extra heed and precaution against the absurdity of no available power to transport Her Majesty to the local off-license to stock up on the Royal gin. ‘One should attempt to re-gain some of one’s limelight from [*cough* Peasant *cough*] Kate from the previous annum.’

Meanwhile in stock rates, the demand for petrol and diesel is higher, and indeed almost more expensive than that of gold dust. Due to the proposed shortage in fuel, the Commons' emergency Cobra team are talking through the intentions of providing excess liposuction fatty deposit fluids to fuel-less drivers. 'If chip fat works...'


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