Ed Miliband & the Nasal Nuisance

A year on from Labour Party leader Ed Miliband's £1300 dismal nose job, the result of which was suggested to have been the whole reason for the government's U turn on the NHS around the same time as the surgery last year, and it seems that Ed's nose has become a celebrity in itself. The Ed Miliband...

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That's A Bit Rich!

According to David Cameron, in a speech yesterday in Kent debating ideas for a welfare reform before the Torie’s produced their manifesto for the next general election, the UK benefit system has gone ‘truly awry’ or ‘down the shitters’ (Source- Cameron’s pre-finalized edition of his speech). Why? Apparently...

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Twitter A Fail Whale?

Long established Twitter users will remember the ‘fail whale’ image that appeared on users’ screens when Twitter was currently inaccessible. Lately however it seems that Twitter seemed to be living up to that very same fail whale image due to being taken offline by a ‘cascading bug’ on Thursday morning...

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'Maggie'll Have Something To Say About That!'

Following David Cameron’s most recent U-turn, referring not to politics but instead to Cameron’s humiliating and highly criticized neglect of his 8 year old daughter while out on a pub visit (had one too many did you Cammers?), the embarrassed PM has since tried to sweep that unfortunate mishap under...

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Zuckerberg's Response To Facebook Handset Rumours

Having recently floated onto the stock market last week, the pioneer at the helm of social networking giant Facebook spoke out for the first time today regarding the rumours circulating thick and fast about the prospect of a 2013 launch for the Facebook phone. 'Well, basically due to many of our users emigrating onto...

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Gaga Gig Cancelled Due To Outfit Woes

Lady Gaga, arguably the most controversial and eccentric pop influential figure on the recent music scene, cancelled her gig scheduled to be played in Indonesia today after it was discovered that she had run out of raw unique materials from which to create her extravagant and often controversial outfits. To...

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Eurovision: Backstage Babble

Following Sweden’s victory in the 26 country strong Eurovision competition last night, rumours have emerged that there was more backstage drama than initially perceived to those viewing in countries around the globe. The Russian grannies’ number set a fine example of what could potentially happen if...

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Pasty Protesters: The Backlash

The 'pasty tax' was just one of the many controversial propositions made in the Budget this March, calling for 20% VAT to be added to all food products sold 'above ambient temperature', even if they subsequently cool down after purchase. Pasty protesters, mainly bakers who are seeing their industry...

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BBC Suffering Initiative Deficiency

The memorial cruise tracing the path of the Titanic's original maiden voyage occurring a century ago, was delayed and forced to take a detour after BBC cameraman, Tim Rex (56) was airlifted from the ship and taken ill as a 'medical precaution'. Seriously BBC, I'd have thought it would've been standard procedure...

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UK Hosepipe Ban To Back Queen's Olympic Ambitions

It seems that nobody could have fathomed an estimate as to the severity of the brunt ultimately borne on the UK as a direct result of Osborne's extreme late Budget additions subsequent from the original delivered a couple of weeks previously.  The immediate action was down to a particular royal...

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Scooby Dooby Dave?

Government plans to push forward rules that would enable security forces to access email header  and other traffic details without a warrant has evoked public response of suggestions that the government are attempting to replicate an episode of ‘Scooby Doo’ at attempts to ‘unmask’ some of the...

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Cameron Fuels Arsonists On Latest Outreach Venture

Despite the infamous quote published on World War 2 propaganda posters by the British government in 1939 advising Britons to ‘Keep Calm & Carry On’, this counsel evidently did not adhere to No 10 as a shambolic ministerial statement encouraging drivers to remain fueled up and ‘to fill up a jerrycan...

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(Hair) Donors for Cameron Revealed.

David Cameron has today revealed the full extent of his donor list, announcing a few of the members he’s wined and dined with ‘above shop’ (assumedly neglecting those mid-week drunken No 10 prime ministerial ‘raves’ when Samantha briefly retreats elsewhere). Many sources, also constituting the controversial...

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Osborne Plans To Raid 'Toys R Us' For MP's In 2013 Budget

George Osborne revealed a belated Budget request today, nominating that money taken from pensioners is to be spent on providing all 650 MP’s with brand sparkling new Apple IPad 3’s as their ‘basic’ technological resources are deemed ‘depleted’ as MP’s have to cope with destitute scenarios of only been...

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Prime Minister's 'Rent-A-Friend' Structure Backfires

Former Tory Treasurer Peter Crudas was denounced by PM David Cameron today to ‘Crud-ass’ following the revengeful exposure by Murdoch’s ‘Sunday Times’, exclusively broadcasting Pete’s pathetic attempts to join the Cameron Crew by discharging hefty sums to wine and dine and eventually secure a role as...

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'Phil, one wishes to acquire a pet butler'

In the wake of George Osborne’s controversy laden 45p decreased  top rate tax proposals in which he claims that he supposedly does not benefit from ( a statement proven to be of irrelevance, as he most definitely claims tax back via expenses regardless), the Royal Family meanwhile certainly decided...

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Budget Banter (2012 Edition)

George Osborne delivered his anxiously awaited 2012 Budget plans earlier today, consequently evoking praise from PM David Cameron as he delivered his statement simultaneously with 'pet' puppy dog Nick Clegg which essentially stated that it was a budget that 'every liberal could be proud of'. Following...

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The End Of A GAME-ing Era?

After an 11% fall in share prices on Friday (according to www.ukfinance.yahoo.com/q?s=GMG.L) and the GAME company issuing letters to customers detailing local impending store closures, it could be assumed that the company isn’t far from GAME-over. The drastic fall in company shares comes after both...

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Cameron Haters Stay Back (Obama's On Side)

David Cameron has arrived in Washington for a three-day visit to US president Barack Obama’s headquarters after an interminable course of opposition to highly controversial coalition decisions, including the proposed NHS overturn. The agenda of the visit has been reported to primarily consist of rounds...

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David Cameron 'An Angry Bird'?

At the end of a stressful day of meetings at work you might expect UK Tory Prime Minister, David Cameron, to embrace a soothing massage from wife Samantha, or kick back in front of the television with a Rich Tea admiring his appearance in a news bulletin. This is not the case however as David Cameron...

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Poke Wars 'Biggest Threat' To Forces

The US Army recently issued a warning foreboding soldiers regarding the poisonous chokehold of social networking site, Facebook, which has approximately 845 million worldwide victims to date. The warnings stated how, once registered, members would be continually harassed with ‘pokes’ and prods from...

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'With Tiffany's on speed dial, one can positively outdo a certain Jay-Z fellow'

Cheering crowds waving Union Jacks have greeted Queen Elizabeth II in Leicester to mark the start of Her Majesty’s highly anticipated ‘Queen Of Diamonds’ Jubilee Tour around many inner-city precincts and selected arenas. An insider source has teased fans, promising that after a hard week brainstorming...

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Mark Zuckerberg calls Team Deathmatch

The social networking platform Facebook, which hosts approximately 850 million unproductive ‘soon-to-be-fired’ office workers from around the globe disconnected for two whole hours earlier this morning as Mark Zuckerberg wished to eliminate the annoyance of lag from his well-deserved game of Call Of...

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